Christi
By Susan Cox
I am a proud mother who has learned to live with a broken heart. I miss Christi’s laughter, our mother/daughter talks, the hugs, her love for life, and the children she would have had. I made a promise to Christi and myself that I would share my pain and grief in very real terms, in hopes that I can do my part to help people realize how fragile life is. I made the decision to honor Christi’s love and give back to everyone the legacy Christi left—love one another, laugh and enjoy every day of your life on this earth.
I learned the true meaning of a mother’s love on January 19, 1965, when my first child, a daughter, Christi, came into this world. She was a happy young lady throughout her life with an infectious smile and a magnetic personality that everyone loved. What a humble person she was. Everything about her was natural. She loved the outdoors, sports, swimming, reading, Girl Scouts and her little brother, Sean, who was four years younger than her.
More importantly, she loved people, especially those who might not consider themselves lovable. I think that may have come from her “Gran” as she called her grandmother. My mother, Susan Jane Piper, grew up in an orphanage and even though she was never adopted, she lived a life of unconditional love. Both Christi and I learned that from my precious mother.
Christi was truly a beautiful person, both figuratively and literally. She excelled in many things in her short lifetime: earning 27 badges when she was a Girl Scout, was head cheerleader and Homecoming Queen before graduating cum laude from her high school. At the age of 20, she was in her third year and on the Dean’s list at the University of Texas.
Then on Oct. 26, 1985, her life, and the life we knew, ended.While walking with friend in downtown Austin, she and her roommate, Jenny, were hit by a drunken driver. Jenny was injured, but fortunately she fully recovered. Christi was pinned under the vehicle and dragged over 800 feet. She died an hour later. We received a phone call from Brackenridge Hospital telling us that they did not think Christi was “going to make it.” Sean, Don, and I rushed to the emergency room to see a doctor standing with his top stained with Christi’s blood to hear those still haunting words “we lost her.”
Our whole life changed in an instant. A black hole is the best way I know how to describe what now surrounded us. Every problem in our lives was magnified. Either nothing seemed right or it just didn’t matter. The tragedy of Christi’s death and our lives were being played out on TV and the Press. We had to endure a trial for the 20 year-old man who killed Christi. Even though he was sentenced to 10 years in jail (the maximum for involuntary manslaughter at that time), he came up for parole just eight months after he went to jail. He served his full sentence in two and a half years with his credit for “good time.”
In the months after her death, our marriage and family were in a crisis and our faith was shattered. We just could not see any relief from the mind -numbing devastation we were suffering. We literally had to reinvent ourselves and tried to find a “new normal”, a life without a daughter and sister. We had a choice to make: become vain and bitter or reach out to help others, which Christi would want us to do.
Only the broken-hearted, struggling in the wake of tragic loss, know what I am talking about. Sharing with others who were good listeners and not telling us to “get over it” made us realize that others who had experienced the loss of a loved had an understanding of what we were going through. Death ended Christi’s life but not her love or our love for her. We have found that regardless of how someone’s loved one died, or their relationship to them, sharing this love is the key to our learning how to live again.
To honor Christi’s love,we founded For the Love of Christi on October 26, 1987, exactly two years after her death on the same date we lost her. Don and I have dedicated over 20 years of our lives to helping the grief-stricken. We have a special “heart connection” with all our members. We walk this journey together sharing the stories, the tears and the laughter. You will learn how to go on living just as we did and you will do it for the love of your loved one. We are here for you to offer comfort, love and hope. Please contact us when you feel the time is right for you. There are no fees for our services. We believe you have already paid too high of a price. For the love of Christi is about remembering and honoring our loved ones for the rest of our lives.