Garrett Russell
by Kate von Alt
I can only describe the death of your child as going into a black hole of sorrow in which every emotion is compressed and compounded inside a vacuum of grief. Especially in the earliest days when the feelings are inescapable; they drag you down, they wear you thin, and you are truly lost.
I don’t think that anyone would dispute that our children are the center of our emotional cosmos. My world certainly revolved around my twin sons. Our every hope and dream was centered on the parenting and bonding of this unique relationship; not only two brothers, but brothers who are a part of each other. When our son, and Duncan’s twin brother, Garrett was killed in a car crash at the age of 15 not only did Garrett’s heart cease to beat, but our universe was extinguished as well.
Eventually, you look up from this vast and dark new place. You are bewildered, and notice that the world outside yours is persevering and going on as if nothing has changed; and yet yours no longer exists. How can this be? What do you do? Where do you go? How do you begin to pick up the pieces of this shattered reality and move ahead?
Garrett, Kate and Duncan on vacation in New York
If you are lucky enough to live in the Austin, Texas area you will undoubtedly begin to have people mention a grief support organization called For the Love of Christi. At first you will wonder, how will going to any place, or talking with any person ever make this pain more bearable? I believe the answer to this question comes clearest while you are on your knees in complete despair; realizing that you must surrender, this is way too huge to ever survive on your own.
At For the Love of Christi you begin to clearly see and feel that love is the most powerful force in the universe. It transcends death and grows exponentially with each passing moment. From being with others who suffer with the death of a loved one, you learn that although your physical relationship has changed, it has certainly not ended. At For the Love of Christi, tears of loss are shared, memories are brought to life with joy and comfort is gained by knowing you will never walk alone on this journey. It is through this miraculous and loving place that you can slowly begin to feel your shattered world moving beyond the darkness. The unique and nurturing hearts at the Christi Center allow you to feel an intense source of joy that can only come from such pain. The light begins to shine again on your new universe.
Like many nonprofit groups, For the Love of Christi works quietly in the background of the community providing many unique and loving services. All services are offered for free. They include support for victims of crime and suicide, counseling for teens, young children, parents and spouses, retreats and community outreach to name a few. Both the needs and services offered by the Christi Center are expanding—please consider making a charitable donation to support its work. Your help will ensure to sustain this remarkable loving place; bringing light back to the lives of those whose universe has been shattered.
Thank you from the bottom of my shattered heart ~ Kate